To my “friends”

Just a lil rant because I haven’t gone on one in a while and I think its wayyyy overdo, so proceed with caution.

It's easy to like people when you don't truly know them. To truly know someone you have to spend time with them aside from drinking and partying. Try spending time with someone watching TV, going for a drive or just simply doing nothing. How’s the silent moment? Awkward or refreshing? Once you start doing simple things (that don’t entail alcohol or 1,000 of distractions) with a person you start seeing them for who they really are. You learn more about their character, morals, true feelings and outlook on life. It's easy to say you like someone if you randomly bump into them once in a while. You probably walk away from that person thinking- wow they're so funny and sweet, I think we would get along really well, we should be friends. But slow your roll…they seem so genuine but how do you really know? Once given the chance, they SHOW THEIR ASS. The truth is they're really controlling, need constant attention, over-opinionated, shallow, lack any originality, completely naïve or all of the above. I have never claimed to be open-minded when it comes to meeting new people and I definitely know why. I am a self proclaimed pessimist, that if given the opportunity people will be people, complete with flaws, greed, jealousy and self indulgence…the fact that they will be human is all one can expect. The good thing about being a pessimist is that you are always either right or pleasantly surprised! (and I have been pleasantly surprised many times)

Since coming to Japan, I have had no choice but to step outside of my comfortable bubble and reach out to my fellow strangers and embrace them as friends. We are all hurled into an unknown world, that is Japan, we expect to be best friends with these random people simply due to geographical proximity. But the reality is these people are just as flawed as the ones from back home. They are all of those things that I came to Japan to get away from, as if Japan had some sort of monopoly on non-annoying people. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that I’m somehow perfect and exempt from the horridness of human nature, but I am able to live with my own flaws. Actually they don’t bother ME much at all :). I am actually working on them as we speak, so stay tuned. BUT…It's up to us how much of ANOTHER person's flaws we're willing to put up with, accept and get past.

Since coming to Japan I attempted to change my mental approach (it's an ongoing process)...I have made a point to get to know people I could care less about or didn’t like from gate. I know there are people in the world I won't like and won't like me...that's simply the way it is (probably more after they read this). However, I do believe that it’s possible to catch people on the worst day of their lives and they may seem rude or bitchy. They have an obvious reason and I would have judged my whole opinion on them from that one interaction. There are also people who don’t show who they truly are until you painstakingly peel away the layers. These are usually the most interesting people, but come on now, no one has time to do that with everyone, so it’s important to pick and choose who is worth investing the time…but I digress. Anyways--What I gained from this open mindedness was many more acquaintances and the opportunity to do a lot more of that dreadful small talk about absolutely EVERYTHING, of which, I care absolutely NOTHING about. As for the people I "truly" got to know...I found out I still don't really care to spend time with many of them and the others of them I don’t see how I lived without them for 20 years. It’s definitely a toss up.

In the end I have meet a few people I highly respect and enjoy spending time with. After all this, the moral of the story is, you cant change the way you are deep down inside but I think little tweaks here and there don’t hurt. Meeting new people with an open mind is still an important quality because out of the 50 controlling, need constant attention, over-opinionated, shallow, lack any originality or completely naive people you meet, one or two may turn out to be people you can crack up with until your side hurts or do simply nothing with! So in the end, the Darwinist idea of selection of the fittest theory even applies to friendship, and the quicker you can weed out the rotten eggs, the closer you’ll be to regaining your sanity.

--and no, this isn’t about you…stop being so self centered :). And don’t be mad, and say “wow she is such a bitch” because everyone thinks it but are just-too-polite, just-too-fake, or just-too-naïve to come out and say it.