Right Turn = Dame Desu.

So the other night, I was taking Natasha home after our workout and coming from Higashi Sanjo station toward the 289. If you go left: my house, if you go straight: it turns into Route 403, if you turn right towards Gusto: you get a TICKET!

It’s a major FRIGGIN intersection! I saw the cop, signal down, check for traffic and GO. Then I look in my rear view mirror and he flips a bitch and turns on his siren behind me! After weighing my options of making a dash for it and trying to lose him down one of the allies or puling over, I thought pulling over would be my best bet. Natasha reminded me that this wasnt California and I was not OJ Simpson, and to get out of it by not speaking any Japanese and we were set to deal with the situation. If cops cant understand you here they usually just let you go and apologize 5 times for stopping you! (As easy as it may seem to just speak English, it's actually way tougher than you think. After living here for over 6 months now, it amazing how much of my everyday speech is peppered with Japanese words or phrases even when I AM speaking English)

Anyway, after Mr. Hot Policeman came up to my window and rattled off a whole bunch of Japanese, all of which I understood, I just stared at him blankly and said: I’m sorry I don’t speak Japanese. I don’t understand you! For which, his reply was (in PERFECT English) “You can’t turn right back there, it is a traffic violation” (not bio-ra-shon, but VioLaTion with a V and L) I had to summon up every piece of strength in me not to start cursing at my bad luck to get the only cop in the whole prefecture that spoke English!
He took my driving permit and said something else in perfect English, but I pretended not to understand him. I feel bad for that one but I had to do what I had to do. Then he throws me another curve ball by saying,
“I don’t speak good English so please follow me to the police station”

Me: I just got back from the gym and am really sweaty, I am afraid I will catch a cold if I don’t go home now and change. (I know, LAME, but it was the best I could come up with under the pressure)

Him: well, you can go home and change and then please come

Me: well also it’s really late and I teach junior high school so I have to wake up early in the morning. Can I come tomorrow with my JTE and they will translate for me? (I figured by this point that if I was going to get a ticket, I was going to do it getting a ½ day off of work and getting paid for it)

Him: what time will you come? (only in Japan do they give YOU the option of when its convenient for you)

Me: (giving up on getting out of the ticket) I don’t know because I don’t know what time I have to teach classes. What will happen? How much is the ticket going to be?

Him: 1man (100$)

Me: ( ONE hundred f—ing dollars!?!? No F—ing way! getting a ticket is NOT an option, time to play the “girl card”) then I put my head down and begin to shake b/c I cant cry but I try to -- while I was down there, I took a peek at his ring finger and he wasn’t married -- Did I mention he was HOT!??!
meanwhile Natasha adds to the drama by asking “Will she get arrested?!!?”

As soon as I started crying he knelt down to where his face was right @ my window:

GOT ‘EM!

To make a long story short I got out of my ticket! ! ! 100 big ones right back in MY pocket! VICTORY! But be careful, in Japan even if it is a MAJOR intersection, unless it says you can turn, keep going straight, chances are you will get a ticket for some unknown reason. Unknown even to the cop, besides the fact that it is “the law.” I was just surprised that in a place where the worse drivers in the world are bred and live, I was the one person pulled over!

Aint that a bitch!?!?